Shift Your Voice in Heated Conversations: When discussions become intense, change your tone to a calm, low-frequency sound, akin to a late-night FM DJ voice. This involuntary changes the emotional tone of the listener, making them more receptive.
Example: If someone is getting agitated during a negotiation, speaking in a calm, deep voice can help de-escalate the situation and bring the conversation back to a productive level.
Humanize Yourself in Dangerous Situations: If ever caught in a hostage situation, comply with the captor's demands and emphasize your humanity. Introduce yourself by name to avoid being seen as just a faceless victim.
Example: Saying, "I'll do whatever you say; I'm [your name]." can increase your chances of survival.
Use the Mirroring Technique in Conversations: To encourage someone to expand on their thoughts, repeat one to three words of what they've just said. This prompts them to provide more information and clarify their statement.
Example: If someone says, "I'm really frustrated with this project," you can respond with, "Frustrated with the project?"
Lessons Learned
Negotiation Mindset: It's not about always securing a deal, but rather ensuring you don't waste time on deals that aren't going to happen. Being playful and maintaining a positive attitude can lead to surprising outcomes in negotiations.
Beware of "Win-Win" Promises: If someone immediately proposes a win-win deal, they might have ulterior motives. It's essential to ensure both parties genuinely benefit from the agreement.
The Power of Correction: When trying to understand someone's perspective, make educated guesses about their viewpoint. They'll correct you if you're wrong, which not only provides clarity but also makes them feel heard and satisfied.
Recognizing Scams: Urgent requests, especially those involving money or personal information, are often scams. Always verify information independently before acting.
Wearing Down the Adversary: In high-stakes negotiations, the goal isn't confrontation but to fatigue the other party. Asking challenging questions can help achieve this.
Trust Your Gut: Our intuition often picks up on subtle cues before our conscious mind does. It's essential to trust these feelings and explore them further.
Delivering Bad News: When delivering unfavorable news, it's best to warn the person first, then deliver the news promptly. This allows the individual to brace themselves, making the impact slightly less jarring.
Empathy vs. Compassion: Empathy is about understanding and transmitting information, while compassion is a reaction to that understanding. Both are valuable, but they serve different purposes in communication.
Proactive Listening: Instead of just actively listening, label the emotion being presented, especially if it's negative. By naming the emotion, it can be deactivated, leading to more productive conversations.
Vision Influences Decision: Understanding the aggressor's vision or end goal can provide insights into their actions. Asking questions that make them articulate their vision can reveal their true intentions and the likelihood of them following through.
